This is Kelsey's room for the most part right now. At the same time, it's what the inside of my head looks like, exactly.
Last Monday, I made a commitment to Kelsey. That commitment came in the form of a promise that if her room was not picked up by yesterday, I would be posting a picture of it and sharing.
That is one of many commitments I have made to Kelsey. Even more it's part of a commitment I made to God as a teenager.
In previous posts I've stated that commitment and I intend on keeping it!
I promised God that when I had children I would make the changes I needed to make.
That commitment includes: no secrets, sharing what God has taught me and striving to reach the dreams he has given me.
The old Malinda doesn't like sharing everything with the world and keeps herself tied in knots with the stress she puts herself under. It makes for a huge mess.
This new Malinda doesn't want that stress anymore. I want to share what God has taught me with all of you and help others to grow too.
It's like one beautiful picture that was in an exhibit while I was working for the Waterford Cultural Council. Let me see if I can paint this picture in words for you.
The artist had visited Tuscany and on the canvas she painted a beautiful sunset she had seen while there. Then the artist painted screws on the canvas. Along with the screws there were strips of clothe painted. Some of these pieces of clothe were tightly wound around various screws. Other strips of clothe were loosely bound around the screws. There were, also, pieces of clothe that had been loosened from the screws and appeared to be floating away. I asked the artist to explain to me what the painting represented to her.
The artist said she loved the beautiful sunset in Tuscany. The artist further explained that she had battled with cancer. After having cancer, she wanted to free herself from the world and it's boundaries. The screws represented those boundaries. The pieces of clothe represented those boundaries being loosened and her being freed.
That artist and her painting have inspired me since that conversation.
As I grow in my relationship with God while raising Kelsey as he wants me too, I am freeing myself.
I want that freedom for Kelsey too.
No secrets, being able to talk about her feelings through the good and the bad, being comfortable in the body she has been given, how to apologize, how to forgive, how to accept people for who they are and where they are, how to keep your commitments, how to reach for her dreams, how to be the person God wants her to be no matter what gets thrown her way.
I can't share these things with her or you if I don't know them for myself.
God has given me so many confirmations that I am on the right path. It's my choice.
There's no coincidence in how God works.
Kelsey has her messes and I have mine. It's no secret.
I'm going to share. Sharing is part of letting go of the mess and myself, so I can grow and be free.
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