11/25/14 - Tuesday - I am Important

Me in my favorite jammers of all time....Them there is my Ducky Jammers!

When I  promised God that I would make the changes I needed to make when I had children....I had absolutely no clue what that would mean....

Most parents want their child(ren) to know:  that they are important, loved and that dreams can come true.

How can you show your child(ren) that they are those things and so much more when you don't know that you are?

That's why God gave me Kelsey...to learn those things.

Before I got pregnant with Kelsey, at the age of 35, most people from the outside would probably have thought I was doing pretty good.

I had graduated from high school, I had an associates degree in marketing, for the most part I had been steadily employed full-time for 14 years, I had purchased a new car and paid it off, I was a home owner, I had no outstanding debt outside of my mortgage, I had been to concerts and traveled, I had a dog and a cat and I was making around $40,000.00 a year.

Those were some of my dreams fulfilled.

I knew that God was guiding my journey and providing me with the tools I needed to achieve those dreams.

Those achievements didn't make me feel important.

I was lonely, didn't feel loved, my head was a mess...much messier than Kelsey's room!  Things and achievements didn't resolve any of that.

When I found out that I was pregnant and would be responsible for another human life...that's what finally started to get through to me.

My perspective was...God wouldn't give me a child if I wasn't important.

That was a HUGE step for me.


 Some Bible verses that help me to remember that I am important:

Genesis 1:27   So God created human beings in his own image.  

Luke 12:27   Consider the lilies, how they grow. They don't toil, neither do they spin; yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Matthew 10:30    but the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Psalm 139:13    For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb.


Please remember you are important too.


I love you,


Malinda A. Gottschalk  :-)  XOXOXO

11/24/14 - Monday - A Mess!

This is Kelsey's room for the most part right now.  At the same time, it's what the inside of my head looks like, exactly.

Last Monday, I made a commitment to Kelsey.  That commitment came in the form of a promise that if her room was not picked up by yesterday, I would be posting a picture of it and sharing.

That is one of many commitments I have made to Kelsey.  Even more it's part of a commitment I made to God as a teenager.

In previous posts I've stated that commitment and I intend on keeping it!

I promised God that when I had children I would make the changes I needed to make.

That commitment includes:  no secrets, sharing what God has taught me and striving to reach the dreams he has given me.

The old Malinda doesn't like sharing everything with the world and keeps herself tied in knots with the stress she puts herself under.  It makes for a huge mess.

This new Malinda doesn't want that stress anymore.  I want to share what God has taught me with all of you and help others to grow too.

It's like one beautiful picture that was in an exhibit while I was working for the Waterford Cultural Council.  Let me see if I can paint this picture in words for you.

The artist had visited Tuscany and on the canvas she painted a beautiful sunset she had seen while there.  Then the artist painted screws on the canvas.  Along with the screws there were strips of clothe painted.  Some of these pieces of clothe were tightly wound around various screws.  Other strips of clothe were loosely bound around the screws.  There were, also, pieces of clothe that had been loosened from the screws and appeared to be floating away.  I asked the artist to explain to me what the painting represented to her.

The artist said she loved the beautiful sunset in Tuscany.  The artist further explained that she had battled with cancer.  After having cancer, she wanted to free herself from the world and it's boundaries.  The screws represented those boundaries.  The pieces of clothe represented those boundaries being loosened and her being freed.

That artist and her painting have inspired me since that conversation.

As I grow in my relationship with God while raising Kelsey as he wants me too, I am freeing myself.

I want that freedom for Kelsey too.

No secrets, being able to talk about her feelings through the good and the bad, being comfortable in the body she has been given, how to apologize, how to forgive, how to accept people for who they are and where they are, how to keep your commitments, how to reach for her dreams, how to be the person God wants her to be no matter what gets thrown her way.

I can't share these things with her or you if I don't know them for myself.

God has given me so many confirmations that I am on the right path.  It's my choice.

There's no coincidence in how God works.

Kelsey has her messes and I have mine.  It's no secret.

I'm going to share.  Sharing is part of letting go of the mess and myself, so I can grow and be free.

11/05/14 - Thursday - Reminder to Self - Refresher on the 7 Habits Quadrants

• Quadrant 1 - Urgent, Important  (Get things done in a timely manner so you don't end up here.)
• Quadrant 2 - Important, But Not Urgent (Good job...This is where you want to be.)
• Quadrant 3 - Urgent, Not Important (Somebody Else Has an Urgent Problem - It's Theirs to Resolve.)
• Quadrant 4 - Not Urgent, Not Important (Distractions, Rerunning Things Through Your Head too Much.  - STAY AWAY!)

A much needed self-service reminder.

I went into Quadrants 3 and then 4 because of 3 and failed to get myself back into 2, then a Quadrant 2 came along with another Quadrant 3.  I still didn't get back to Quadrant 2.  Meanwhile that first Quadrant 2 was way past it's bedtime.

If you understood that last paragraph,  it's time for you to go to bed too!

We'll both try again tomorrow.

Hey!  At least, I learned how to make a paper airplane that actually will stay aloft out of the deal.  I'm not sure whether this knowledge will be handy in the future or not????

Sweet Dreams,

I love you all!  :-)  XOXOXO

10/07/14 - Tuesday - Drumroll Please....The Rest of the Story

To continue where I left off previously...

I went and had most of my tests done.

I went back to the doctor's office on Friday, 06/27/14.

Once more I did my thing in a cup.

The bladder infection is gone.  Yeah!  I tell the doctor that my back feels better.  At the same time, it still tells me when I have to have to go #2.

The doctor tells me that my thyroid count is off.  Another blood sample was taken.

My weight that day was 233 lbs.  Three pounds in two weeks.  Things still are not adding up.

I get the rest of my appointment taken care of.  Before leaving one of the ultrasound tests is changed.

On Tuesday, 7/22/14, I was back at the doctor's office for my test results.

The doctor confirmed that yes I have a hypo-active (under active) thyroid.  A prescription was sent to the pharmacy so I could start the process of getting my hormone levels straightened out.  The prescription was for 25 mcg dose of Levothyroxine (The little peach colored pill in the pictures above.).  I have to return to the doctor's office every 4-6 weeks until the hormone levels are right and consistent.

The only other thing that needed follow up is a cyst within my right ovary.  An MRI was ordered.

That day at the doctor's office I weighed 234 lbs.  Up a pound???  (When I went in on 06/27/14 it was right before my period when I should have been at my heaviest?  Now I'm up one pound again???)

I took my first dose of Levothyroxine on Wednesday, 07/23/14.  Boy!  My world was clearer the very first day.

I'm now on a 50 mcg dose of Levothyroxine (The little white pill in the pictures above.).  The world just keeps getting clearer.  My body and mind are loving this.  Slowly the fuzzy thinking and lethargy are dissipating.  On this please trust me, this body has been getting rid of so much garbage literally.  The boobs no longer have a shelf.  Tops that fit are now fitting more loosely.  I'm starting to be able to see the creases and wrinkles in the area of my feet and ankles.  (The swelling in my ankles and feet started when I was sixteen.  It has been the worst in the last five years or so.  I'm ecstatic!)

I have, also, had the MRI done.

When I went back for my first blood test since starting the Levothyroxine, the doctor had the MRI results.

They do not believe that the cyst is cancerous and recommended wait and see.  My doctor would like me to have an OBGYN take a look.  Abba wants me to wait.  I'm going to wait for now, until my body is adjusted and my thyroid is doing what it should be doing.  This I will have to keep everyone informed on in the future.

In a couple weeks I will be going back to the doctor's office for another blood test.  At that time, I will ask to get weighed.  I'm anxious to see what the scale says.

Aligning this body with God's will has been an adventure filled with many ups and downs.  God's gotten me through them.  Every once in a while Abba and I will have a little discussion.  This discussion is a check of where I'm at.


The discussion goes somewhat like this....Are you happier where you are at today or would you go back to where you were before you decided to pursue your dreams for the right reasons?

Before I made that decision, I wasn't living, I was just doing the doggie paddle.  I had achieved some of my dreams, but didn't feel good about myself at all.  Today I have peace and joy.  That's more valuable than what I have given up.

I was so full of fear, stress and anxiety.  I had a long way to go in the emotionally maturity department.

At that time, if Abba had told me all that I would go through to this point, I would have ran in the other direction as fast as I could have.  THAT'S A FACT JACK!

I am glad that Abba's knowledge is far greater than mine and that I have had his guidance, love and support from then until now and into the future.

My path has been neither the roughest nor the smoothest.

When other people share their journeys with me, I am so blessed.  It keeps where I am at in perspective and encourages me to keep moving forward towards the dreams that Abba has given me.

As I move forward, I will share my journey with you.  I hope it blesses you too.

Okay, that's it for now.  I've shared where I'm at physically.  I've got other things to share....by the way my back doesn't tell me when I need to go #2 anymore.  (I know you really wanted to know this!  LOL)

Sweet Dreams Everyone,


I love you all.  :-)  XOXOXO

09/26/14 - Friday - The Work Out

Okay, you can see where I started and where I have gotten in these pictures that were taken between August 21, 2013 and September 10, 2014.

So here's the work out routine I've been using:

Warm up:  (5 sets each, To a count of 5 using left side for count)

Standing Leg Circles w/Side Kick (Inward Circles)
Lunge Stretches
Quadriceps Stretches
Side Stretches
Arm Circles (Clockwise)
Neck Rolls (5 sets forward, 5 sets backward)

100 Squats

Cool Down:  (5 sets each, To a count of 5 using right side for count)

Standing Leg Circles w/Side Kick (Outward Circles)
Lunge Stretches
Quadriceps Stretches
Side Stretches
Arm Circles (Counter-Clockwise)
Neck Rolls (5 sets forward, 5 sets backward)

This takes about 25 minutes all together.

Boy, these pictures aren't pretty.

The way I have to think about is, I did the damage.

Throughout this last year plus, I tried to make sure I do this workout at least 3-4 times per week (Aiming for six days for week).

When I started last August, I trusted that God would show me the way to align this body that he gave me with his will.  I didn't expect that as things got better, I would have a time when I felt even more lethargic and fuzzy headed than when I started.  So not fun and thinking things through took a lot of energy itself.  YUCK!

Then we get to Friday, June 13, 2014.  My lower back was taking a painful beating.

I went into see my doctor.  I did my thing in a cup and had some blood drawn.  I had a bladder infection.

What is one of the first things they do when you go to visit the doctor?  They weigh you.  I thought cool, we'll see what kind of progress I've made in the almost ten months I've been working out.  Remember my starting weight was at least 249 pounds.  My weight that day was 236 lbs.

I was disappointed.

I explained to the doctor what I had been doing and that even with building muscle, I still expected that I would have lost more weight in the almost ten months since I had started working out.

Before leaving the doctor's office that day, an appointment was set up for an annual exam and I was given referrals for ultrasounds and x-rays.

The annual exam was scheduled for Friday, 06/27/14.

That's where I leave you for tonight.

Cliffhanger.....and too much to expect anyone to read at one time.

Sweet Dreams to all.

I love you.  Malinda  :-)  XOXOXO

09/10/14 - Wednesday - Sharing

One of Kelsey's favorite pass-times is reading.  So to celebrate her birthday back in June (She's 11 now.  WOW!  Time passes way to quickly when you're watching your child grow up.) we went to 2nd and Charles in Auburn Hills to get some books.

One of the books that I purchased for us is Daily Reflections for Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey.

I have been reading it every day with breakfast along with the other devotionals I read.

One particular entry in this book keeps eating at me.  Here it is:

FEBRUARY 20

I love these lines from The Man Nobody Knows by Bruce Barton, which illustrate that giving to others is like giving to yourself as well:

There are two seas in the Palestine. One is fresh, and fish are in it. Splashes of green adorn its banks. Trees spread their branches over it and stretch out their thirsty roots to sip of it's healing waters. . . . The River Jordan makes this sea with sparkling water from the hills. So it laughs in the sunshine. And men build their houses near to it, birds build their nests; and every kind of life is happier because it is there.

The River Jordan flows on south into another sea.

Here is no splash of fish, no fluttering leaf, no song of birds, no children's laughter. Travelers choose another route, unless on urgent business. The air hangs heavy above its water, and neither man nor beast nor fowl will drink.

What makes this mighty difference in these neighbor seas? Not the River Jordan. It empties the same good water into both. Not the soil in which they lie; not the country round about.

This is the difference. The Sea of Galilee receives but does not keep the Jordan. For every drop that flows into it another drop flows out. The giving and receiving go on in equal measure. The other sea is shrewder, hoarding its income jealously. It will not be tempted into any generous impulse. Every drop it gets, it keeps.

The Sea of Galilee gives and lives. This other sea gives nothing. It is named the Dead. There are two seas in Palestine.

There are two kinds of people in this world.  There are two seas in Palestine.

Why would this eat at me?

God put us here to be present for each other. 

One way to be present for each other is to share our journeys.  The ups, the downs.  The  lessons learned.  Sharing God's strength through our weakness.  Correcting, Confirming, Loving, Uplifting.

One way that God wants me to be present is by writing.  I haven't done a whole lot of sharing.

Despite all the changes that have occurred, are happening currently or will occur, if I don't share them I'm being selfish and I'm not truly changing.

Not self-conscious….SELFISH.  God has been convicting me of imprisoning myself along with others who can benefit from the lessons I've learned.

No matter our differences, inside and out, our paths cross for a reason.

To truly change, therefore transform, into the Malinda God wants me to be I have to let go of that selfishness that binds me to the old Malinda.

It's way past time to unlock these prison doors.

Yes, this has been eating me alive from the inside out.  I want my freedom.

May you be free too.  Life's not easy.  Life can be easier on us though when we share the journey.

I love you all.

Malinda  :-)  XOXOXO

PS - I wonder where Kelsey got her love of reading???  (Tee-Hee)