Veteran's Day - Thank you to all who have served in the armed forces of the United States of America. You served and are serving to preserve my rights and freedom. Thank you actually seems so small. I will endeavor to continue to show my thankfulness by becoming the Malinda that God wants me to be, to raise Kelsey the way God wants me too and to serve others through the dreams God has given me.
Today Kelsey and I actually got to church by 10:30 am. That's a miracle all in of itself.
The service today was beautiful. So beautiful, that I probably should not have worn eye make-up until after church. Yes, yours truly is a ball-baby when it comes to being sentimental. All the branches of the military were represented. So cool to be a part of the River, a branch of the church headed by Christ Jesus. Pastor Jim Combs truly is a blessing in my life, not to mention all the other people that are a part of the River.
After church, lunch and a short nap. Mom, Kelsey and I went to visit with Pastor Jack and Jakie Byers. Pastor Byers was the first minister I met while attending church at the First Congregational United Church of Christ in Grand Blanc when I was a teenager. They are getting older, as we all do, and I'm grateful for what little time we get with them. Pastor Jack was recently in the hospital due to a heart problem and a fall. Pastor Jack is still bruised, bumped up and today wasn't a good day for him. I think seeing Kelsey and flirting with her brightened his day. I'm glad we took the time.
Then we went to the Great Lakes National Cemetery where Pop's ashes are entombed. Even though it's Fall, daylight was disappearing and it was windy this cemetery still has a beauty and peace that is hard to describe. While there I got a couple beautiful pictures of the flags flying.
Speaking of flags flying I need to go get my camera out of the car. Then I need to download about six months worth of pictures. I am so bad about doing that. I need the camera for tomorrows Veteran's Day celebration at Holly Elementary. (REMEMBER MALINDA!)
I believe that right now Kelsey may be coming down with a cold due to the stress of making changes in her choices. Letting go of the old and moving on to the new is stressful and it eats up a lot of energy.
After leaving our visit to the cemetery, Kelsey started to show the wear-and-tear. While at dinner out and getting ready for bed you could tell she was going down and her choices reflected that too. Right now as I'm writing this, I'm listening to her cough. We'll have to see how she's feeling in the morning.
To sum up today, it was a good day with lots of emotional ups and downs.
I'm thankful for it and at the same time ready to move on.
Tomorrow is laundry, a run to the doctor's office, the Veteran's Day celebration and pork tenderloin for dinner.
I pray that everyone will have sweet dreams and a great day tomorrow.
Abba thank you for today, for the armed forces that fight for our freedom, for my "Bug" and for all those who have touched my life. Please take today into your hands now and prepare us for tomorrow. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen :-) XOXOXO
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Saturday, 11/10/12 - A Pretty Peaceful Sabbath
After getting a short-nights peaceful sleep, I wondered how things would go today.
School days can be pretty rough around here sometimes and then the weekend comes.
Those weekends have been a killer for a while now.
Well today was AWESOME as far as weekends go.
Meals got served in a timely manner, no melt-downs, Kelsey's bedroom is pretty much picked up and vacuumed (PAIN FREE. I'm loving it.) and I figured out how to get a play list of my CDs from I-Tunes.
A usual Saturday gets quite out of kilter with the choices we've made in the past and sometimes it feels like mealtime can eat up a better part of our day. Breakfast usually around 11, then lunch around 3 or so and then there is dinner between 7-8. Not a good thing around here. Today breakfast was over and done by 10:30, lunch by 1:30 and dinner before 6:30.
Having meals in a timely manner means that we are all on schedule to have a peaceful night. Kelsey got to sit, play and soak in the tub, Mom went to see the Flint Symphony and I got to figure out the play list. Then Kelsey and I got some cuddle time while reading the "The Mystery of the Ivory Charm", a Nancy Drew Mystery. Last but not least, Kelsey was in bed before 10. That sets her up for a pretty good day tomorrow.
On what has become a usual Saturday, Kelsey will usually put off her need-to things for as long as possible. By putting off the need-tos Kelsey doesn't get a whole lot of her want-tos like playing with friends. Today was different. Kelsey wanted to go with Mom on some errands and have play time with her friend Mikayla. Kelsey took care of picking up and vacuuming her floor without a complaint, need-tos, and got both of those want-tos. Yeah Kelsey! (Kelsey agrees that the pain-free method and a neat room are much better than the past way.) Then Mikayla and Kelsey were here having a primping party. Full makeup. (It's scary to remember that I used to think all that makeup made me look good too. LOL)
While Kelsey was soaking in the tub, I got the dishes done and got a refresher in my administrative skills.
Back when we got our newest computer my friend Marty Quertermous helped me get it set up and showed me how to convert my CDs into I-Tunes. I thought that was the coolest thing. I didn't need to have CDs sitting around and just taking up space. Then my skewed version of reality hit home. I could type up a list of CDs and put them on Craigslist for $5.00/ea. and someone else could do what I did and resell them too. It's cheaper than paying $.99 per tune and only takes a few minutes to convert each CD to I-Tunes. Well who wants to type up a list of CDs? Can you say "Time consuming!"?
I discovered that I-Tunes allows you to export your play list to a text file. THIS IS AN AWESOME THING! This only takes a few minutes. (YES!) Than I converted the text file into an Excel file. With very little editing, I now have a full list of my CDs including album names and song lists. THIS IS SO COOL! Now I can filter that list down to just album titles and post that list to Craigslist and get rid of the CDs that are just sitting around, taking up space as STUFF. When somebody wants a song list, all they will have to do is send me an e-mail and they'll have it. MORE COOLNESS!
Another usual thing on the weekend....Kelsey, most weekends, will ask to stay the night with me. I think she was missing good attention. Well Kelsey did NOT ask last night or tonight to stay with me and went to bed without any extra jabber too.
I'll say it again....this is AWESOME.
Learning to edit my mouth and make a few changes is so worth the stress that I put myself through. The changes that are happening as a result are beautiful.
Our home is becoming a refuge of faith, hope and love one day at a time. This is helping Kelsey and I to grow in maturity and responsibility. Being proactive and response-able, like any change, isn't easy. At the same time, it's well worth the results.
I hope you all have sweet dreams and a peaceful nights rest.
Abba, thank you for pushing me forward. I need that and I'm growing. Please continue to guide and push me forward towards the dreams you've given me. May at least one person gain strength from you through my weakness. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen :-) XOXOXO
School days can be pretty rough around here sometimes and then the weekend comes.
Those weekends have been a killer for a while now.
Well today was AWESOME as far as weekends go.
Meals got served in a timely manner, no melt-downs, Kelsey's bedroom is pretty much picked up and vacuumed (PAIN FREE. I'm loving it.) and I figured out how to get a play list of my CDs from I-Tunes.
A usual Saturday gets quite out of kilter with the choices we've made in the past and sometimes it feels like mealtime can eat up a better part of our day. Breakfast usually around 11, then lunch around 3 or so and then there is dinner between 7-8. Not a good thing around here. Today breakfast was over and done by 10:30, lunch by 1:30 and dinner before 6:30.
Having meals in a timely manner means that we are all on schedule to have a peaceful night. Kelsey got to sit, play and soak in the tub, Mom went to see the Flint Symphony and I got to figure out the play list. Then Kelsey and I got some cuddle time while reading the "The Mystery of the Ivory Charm", a Nancy Drew Mystery. Last but not least, Kelsey was in bed before 10. That sets her up for a pretty good day tomorrow.
On what has become a usual Saturday, Kelsey will usually put off her need-to things for as long as possible. By putting off the need-tos Kelsey doesn't get a whole lot of her want-tos like playing with friends. Today was different. Kelsey wanted to go with Mom on some errands and have play time with her friend Mikayla. Kelsey took care of picking up and vacuuming her floor without a complaint, need-tos, and got both of those want-tos. Yeah Kelsey! (Kelsey agrees that the pain-free method and a neat room are much better than the past way.) Then Mikayla and Kelsey were here having a primping party. Full makeup. (It's scary to remember that I used to think all that makeup made me look good too. LOL)
While Kelsey was soaking in the tub, I got the dishes done and got a refresher in my administrative skills.
Back when we got our newest computer my friend Marty Quertermous helped me get it set up and showed me how to convert my CDs into I-Tunes. I thought that was the coolest thing. I didn't need to have CDs sitting around and just taking up space. Then my skewed version of reality hit home. I could type up a list of CDs and put them on Craigslist for $5.00/ea. and someone else could do what I did and resell them too. It's cheaper than paying $.99 per tune and only takes a few minutes to convert each CD to I-Tunes. Well who wants to type up a list of CDs? Can you say "Time consuming!"?
I discovered that I-Tunes allows you to export your play list to a text file. THIS IS AN AWESOME THING! This only takes a few minutes. (YES!) Than I converted the text file into an Excel file. With very little editing, I now have a full list of my CDs including album names and song lists. THIS IS SO COOL! Now I can filter that list down to just album titles and post that list to Craigslist and get rid of the CDs that are just sitting around, taking up space as STUFF. When somebody wants a song list, all they will have to do is send me an e-mail and they'll have it. MORE COOLNESS!
Another usual thing on the weekend....Kelsey, most weekends, will ask to stay the night with me. I think she was missing good attention. Well Kelsey did NOT ask last night or tonight to stay with me and went to bed without any extra jabber too.
I'll say it again....this is AWESOME.
Learning to edit my mouth and make a few changes is so worth the stress that I put myself through. The changes that are happening as a result are beautiful.
Our home is becoming a refuge of faith, hope and love one day at a time. This is helping Kelsey and I to grow in maturity and responsibility. Being proactive and response-able, like any change, isn't easy. At the same time, it's well worth the results.
I hope you all have sweet dreams and a peaceful nights rest.
Abba, thank you for pushing me forward. I need that and I'm growing. Please continue to guide and push me forward towards the dreams you've given me. May at least one person gain strength from you through my weakness. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen :-) XOXOXO
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Friday, 11/09/12 - Humbling Experience
Matt 19:24-26 "...it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God....Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible."
Our feelings are God-given, we are created in his image. We have a right to feel everything that we do. While we have this right, it comes with the obligation to show those feelings and the emotions that come with them appropriately.
This last Sunday, I was talking with a friend before leaving church.
This friend was telling me about what is going on between her children and her. The whole time she's talking I'm hearing myself say the same things in regards to Kelsey and myself.
I explained that at one point (for a lot of years!) I was unable to express anger. I went on to say that expressing anger is no longer a problem. The problem now is expressing it appropriately and when needed, not otherwise.
The point that I needed to resolve the problem of how and when to show anger and when not to had been driven home by Kelsey's choices and by this excerpt from "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey:
"And what about a parent's relationship with a child? When children are little, they are very dependent, very vulnerable. It becomes so easy to neglect the PC work - the training, the communicating, the relating, the listening. It's easy to take advantage, to manipulate, to get what you want the way you want it - right now! You're bigger, you're smarter, and you're right! So why not just tell them what to do? If necessary, yell at them, intimidate them, insist on your way.
Or you can indulge them. You can go for the golden egg of popularity, of pleasing them, giving them their way all the time. Then they grow up without any internal sense of standards or expectations, without a personal commitment to being disciplined or responsible.
Either way - authoritarian or permissive - you have the golden egg mentality. You want to have your way or you want to be liked. But what happens, meantime, to the goose? What sense of responsibility, of self-discipline, of confidence in the ability to make good choices or achieve important goals is a child going to have a few years down the road? And what about your relationship? When she reaches those critical teenage years, the identity crises, will she know from her experience with you that you will listen without judging, that you really, deeply care about her as a person, that you can be trusted, no matter what? Will the relationship be strong enough for you to reach her, to communicate with her, to influence her?
Suppose you want your daughter to have a clean room - that's P, production, the golden egg. And suppose you want her to clean it - that's PC, production capability. Your daughter is the goose, the asset, that produces the golden egg.
If you have P and PC in balance, she cleans the room cheerfully (In our case, without fussing, whining, crying and screaming.), without being reminded, because she is committed and has the discipline to stay with the commitment. She is a valuable asset, a goose that can produce golden eggs.
But if your paradigm is focused on production, on getting the room clean, you might find yourself nagging her to do it. You might even escalate your efforts to threatening or yelling, and in your desire to get the golden egg, you undermine the health and welfare of the goose."
When I read this portion of The 7 Habits, it sat me back on my butt and slapped me in the face as if to say, "What do you think your doing?". What an eye opener!
I am making the changes I need to, now, so that Kelsey can make better choices too. We are in the testing phase right now, meaning that Kelsey is seeing if she can make me angry or not. With this testing, I see, little by little, that Kelsey is starting to make those better choices.
Back to last Sunday. I'm hearing me speaking through this friend. The kids have no toys left in their rooms and the rooms are still disaster areas.
I called Kelsey over and had my friend explain again what she had explained to me. Then I looked at Kelsey and asked her if the story sounded familiar. Kelsey said, "Yes."
I let my friend know what I had discovered, about The 7 Habits, about how stressful the change can be (You try editing you mouth and see what happens.) and that things now are changing - slowly, but surely - for the better.
Think about this. Things are spiraling downward, between Kelsey and I, even while I'm getting training in the The 7 Habits so I can get myself on the right path, be the parent I know I can be and the person God wants me to be.
As if being a parent, good or bad, isn't humbling enough. Now I'm learning and trying to figure how to balance being a good parent, while I'm still making mistakes. Boy what a learning curve!
If not for God's grace and a childlike faith in him, I would be that camel mentioned in Matt 19:24-26.
Abba, thank you for being in control, for your grace, for humbling experiences and for providing the way. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen :-) XOXOXO
Our feelings are God-given, we are created in his image. We have a right to feel everything that we do. While we have this right, it comes with the obligation to show those feelings and the emotions that come with them appropriately.
This last Sunday, I was talking with a friend before leaving church.
This friend was telling me about what is going on between her children and her. The whole time she's talking I'm hearing myself say the same things in regards to Kelsey and myself.
I explained that at one point (for a lot of years!) I was unable to express anger. I went on to say that expressing anger is no longer a problem. The problem now is expressing it appropriately and when needed, not otherwise.
The point that I needed to resolve the problem of how and when to show anger and when not to had been driven home by Kelsey's choices and by this excerpt from "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey:
"And what about a parent's relationship with a child? When children are little, they are very dependent, very vulnerable. It becomes so easy to neglect the PC work - the training, the communicating, the relating, the listening. It's easy to take advantage, to manipulate, to get what you want the way you want it - right now! You're bigger, you're smarter, and you're right! So why not just tell them what to do? If necessary, yell at them, intimidate them, insist on your way.
Or you can indulge them. You can go for the golden egg of popularity, of pleasing them, giving them their way all the time. Then they grow up without any internal sense of standards or expectations, without a personal commitment to being disciplined or responsible.
Either way - authoritarian or permissive - you have the golden egg mentality. You want to have your way or you want to be liked. But what happens, meantime, to the goose? What sense of responsibility, of self-discipline, of confidence in the ability to make good choices or achieve important goals is a child going to have a few years down the road? And what about your relationship? When she reaches those critical teenage years, the identity crises, will she know from her experience with you that you will listen without judging, that you really, deeply care about her as a person, that you can be trusted, no matter what? Will the relationship be strong enough for you to reach her, to communicate with her, to influence her?
Suppose you want your daughter to have a clean room - that's P, production, the golden egg. And suppose you want her to clean it - that's PC, production capability. Your daughter is the goose, the asset, that produces the golden egg.
If you have P and PC in balance, she cleans the room cheerfully (In our case, without fussing, whining, crying and screaming.), without being reminded, because she is committed and has the discipline to stay with the commitment. She is a valuable asset, a goose that can produce golden eggs.
But if your paradigm is focused on production, on getting the room clean, you might find yourself nagging her to do it. You might even escalate your efforts to threatening or yelling, and in your desire to get the golden egg, you undermine the health and welfare of the goose."
When I read this portion of The 7 Habits, it sat me back on my butt and slapped me in the face as if to say, "What do you think your doing?". What an eye opener!
I am making the changes I need to, now, so that Kelsey can make better choices too. We are in the testing phase right now, meaning that Kelsey is seeing if she can make me angry or not. With this testing, I see, little by little, that Kelsey is starting to make those better choices.
Back to last Sunday. I'm hearing me speaking through this friend. The kids have no toys left in their rooms and the rooms are still disaster areas.
I called Kelsey over and had my friend explain again what she had explained to me. Then I looked at Kelsey and asked her if the story sounded familiar. Kelsey said, "Yes."
I let my friend know what I had discovered, about The 7 Habits, about how stressful the change can be (You try editing you mouth and see what happens.) and that things now are changing - slowly, but surely - for the better.
Think about this. Things are spiraling downward, between Kelsey and I, even while I'm getting training in the The 7 Habits so I can get myself on the right path, be the parent I know I can be and the person God wants me to be.
As if being a parent, good or bad, isn't humbling enough. Now I'm learning and trying to figure how to balance being a good parent, while I'm still making mistakes. Boy what a learning curve!
If not for God's grace and a childlike faith in him, I would be that camel mentioned in Matt 19:24-26.
Abba, thank you for being in control, for your grace, for humbling experiences and for providing the way. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen :-) XOXOXO
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Thursday, 11/08/12 - A Thank You
I haven't been on Facebook all that much since around the beginning of Summer. Wow!
Two men have come into my life over the last, let's say, 15 years that have had a profound and positive affect on my life. For that I owe them a debt of gratitude that I will never be able to personally repay.
The first of these two men is Norman Vincent Peale. Through Mr. Peale's writing of "The Power of Positive Thinking" along with his other books and a monthly publication called "Guideposts", I was able to rediscover my childlike faith.
I was introduced to Mr. Peale by Janis Standish. Thank you Janis!
The other man is Stephen R. Covey. Among the books that Mr. Covey wrote are "The Leader in Me" and "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Through these books and some training, I am learning to set aside my childlike ways.
I was introduced to Mr. Covey by Mr. Cox, the Principal of Holly Elementary School. Thank you Mr. Cox!
Rediscovering my childlike faith and now deepening that faith while learning to set aside my own childlike ways has been a challenge well worth the undertaking. While saying this, I will not say it's been a stress-free joy ride. This journey to the perfect Malinda that God wants me to be has been and is a battle royal with myself.
These two men have done something that is an end in mind that I hope to be able to emulate myself. What Mr. Peale and Mr. Covey did is that they followed their God-given dreams and along the way they helped others, including myself, to reach for ours. Those dreams still live on and will continue to do so for along time to come.
To have your dreams live on and grow even after your no longer physically here....I truly believe that's the mark to strive for while on this journey we call life.
Abba, thank you for your servants...Norman Vincent Peale and Stephen R. Covey. They still serve you today. Please watch over and continue to guide those of us who are or will strive to emulate them by living the dreams you have given us. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen :-) XOXOXO
If you need a place to start getting yourself on the right path, I would recommend reading the writings of these two men. They may keep you off Facebook for a while, at the same time you'll know you, too, are on the right path.
Sweet Dreams! :-) XOXOXO
Two men have come into my life over the last, let's say, 15 years that have had a profound and positive affect on my life. For that I owe them a debt of gratitude that I will never be able to personally repay.
The first of these two men is Norman Vincent Peale. Through Mr. Peale's writing of "The Power of Positive Thinking" along with his other books and a monthly publication called "Guideposts", I was able to rediscover my childlike faith.
I was introduced to Mr. Peale by Janis Standish. Thank you Janis!
The other man is Stephen R. Covey. Among the books that Mr. Covey wrote are "The Leader in Me" and "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Through these books and some training, I am learning to set aside my childlike ways.
I was introduced to Mr. Covey by Mr. Cox, the Principal of Holly Elementary School. Thank you Mr. Cox!
Rediscovering my childlike faith and now deepening that faith while learning to set aside my own childlike ways has been a challenge well worth the undertaking. While saying this, I will not say it's been a stress-free joy ride. This journey to the perfect Malinda that God wants me to be has been and is a battle royal with myself.
These two men have done something that is an end in mind that I hope to be able to emulate myself. What Mr. Peale and Mr. Covey did is that they followed their God-given dreams and along the way they helped others, including myself, to reach for ours. Those dreams still live on and will continue to do so for along time to come.
To have your dreams live on and grow even after your no longer physically here....I truly believe that's the mark to strive for while on this journey we call life.
Abba, thank you for your servants...Norman Vincent Peale and Stephen R. Covey. They still serve you today. Please watch over and continue to guide those of us who are or will strive to emulate them by living the dreams you have given us. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen :-) XOXOXO
If you need a place to start getting yourself on the right path, I would recommend reading the writings of these two men. They may keep you off Facebook for a while, at the same time you'll know you, too, are on the right path.
Sweet Dreams! :-) XOXOXO
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