07/26/15 - Sunday - A Little Background

In any relationship, no matter a passing friendship or a long-term marriage, if the two people involved in that relationship do not get along it is both parties fault.

This holds true in the relationship between Kelsey's father and I.

I've had to do a lot of self-examination to clear this head of mine.

Having God, the Bible and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (or Teens) by Stephen Covey and his son Sean Covey has helped a GREAT deal!

Name anyone of those habits and there was a lot for me to work on.  There still is.

Let's move on…

I met Kelsey's father in August of 2002 at the High Kicker.

By mid October of 2002, I hadn't seen or heard from him in about a month.  I had dreamed that maybe, just once, doing things the wrong way would work out right.  No such luck.

At that time, I knew just enough about Kelsey's father that I paid for and did an address search and found out where he lives to this day when he's in Michigan. 

When I didn't hear anything more from him, I wrote him a letter poring my heart out to him.

Ultimately by the time I sent that letter, I just wanted to know the truth.

Two days later there was a knock at my door.  The first words out of his mouth were, "My fiancé get's the mail."

There it was, the truth.

When I heard this, I let Kelsey's father know that at some point I wanted a good relationship. 

I don't believe that you can knowingly participate in ruining a relationship and somehow expect to have a good relationship as a result.  (I let myself be extremely blind and naïve.)

Kelsey's father asked at that time if we could still be friends.  I let him know that that would take time.

If I had not found out in January of 2003 that I was pregnant, Kelsey's father would have never heard from me again.

07/20/15 - Monday - The Reason

It's official...Kelsey Rachel Gottschalk is 12 and we are at about the same height!

I've made many bad choices....You are one of the GREAT ones!

Momma is becoming the shorty!

I originally set this page up on Kelsey's birthday. 

My Bug has now been a part of my life for almost thirteen years.

Time passes too quickly.

I always said that I looked forward to seeing the world all over again through the eyes of my children.  It's still true to this day.

Kelsey is fully aware of the circumstances under which she was conceived and of those that surround her to this day concerning everything that I know.

Kelsey is aware that I love her and that she is important to God and I.

Kelsey is aware that I consider her father to be a blessing too.  Through all circumstances.

Kelsey is aware that I promised God that when I had children, I would raise them differently than I was raised.

Kelsey is aware that I have wanted from the very beginning for her to know both of her parents….for the good, the bad and the ugly.

In order to do this, I have had to face many facts about myself and the choices I have and do make.

This last weekend was a "Daddy Weekend".

When Kelsey came back to the house on Sunday, almost immediately she let me know that her father had asked her a question on Friday and in response she had lied in reply because she had been scared.

That was what finally convinced me that I need to confront whatever has been said about me by her father.

I say this after years of praying that her father would somehow realize how much he is hurting himself, Kelsey and others by limiting the relationship possibilities with a story he made up to cover himself, after it was verified that he was Kelsey's father, and tell everyone the truth.

Up to this point I did not want to say anything that would further damage those relationships.  Now I realize that those relationships are being further damaged because I haven't said anything.

Personally I could care less what Kelsey's father has to say about me.  It doesn't hurt me.  I know my truth.

When it affects our daughter, that is where I have to confront things.

So here we go...stomach in knots, scared myself, stressed and never being real good at confrontation.  I will overcome, so I can be the person and parent God believes I can be.

07/17/15 - Saturday - Our Health

Leading cause of bankruptcy...medical bills. 

So not fun...especially when it sounds like you have more ahead of you.  The stress of health care costs is hurting our health even more.

I have and still feel that our health, mental and otherwise should not be for anyone's profit.  Yes they need to make an income, but..... 

Then there is the insurance companies...you get insurance so this doesn't happen.  Cost goes up...coverage goes down. 

Everything has become centered around money not our health.

Many presidents have talked about a national solution.  Nothing came of it.

President Obama put the conversation regarding health care costs and insurance front and center with the Affordable Care Act.

I don't believe that President Obama ever intended for the Affordable Care Act to be the final answer.  The intention was to get us pointed in the right direction.

Instead we and our politicians have made the Affordable Care Act another point of division among us.

I'm not sure myself of what a long term solution would look like.

At the same time I do know, we need to get the gross profit out at all levels. 

Getting paid for services and having an income are important for providers and researchers...where does that end and gross profiting begin.

Our health and research into solutions for so many problems would be easier to fund if a lot of those extra hands weren't in the pot.

United we stand….divided we fall.

Think about it….

If there wasn't a profit…there wouldn't be so many insurance companies or lawyers involved. 

It's our health. 

07/11/15 - Saturday - Paradigms

A paradigm is like the lens you see life through.

When a paradigm isn't correct it's like having a road map of Detroit and trying to get around Chicago.

It doesn't work well.

When you've got a correct paradigm life get's a whole lot clearer.

Before getting familiar with The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, if I had a paradigm that wasn't correct, I'd build a new paradigm to compensate for the trouble with the old paradigm.

This created a great big tangle in my head, added a lot of stress to my life and made me miserable.

The biggest part of the problem was that I'd just send myself in circles that got tighter and tighter.

Once you've got a correct paradigm, you can build new habits based on that paradigm and there's a lot less conflict.

Life doesn't become easy, it becomes easier when you know you are on the right path.

Paradigms that are correct help to support your foundation, making you stronger and more able to withstand the storms in life.